Short Guide on Understanding and Parenting Teenagers

No matter what happens, teenagers will always act like teenagers. No matter how prepared we think we are or how much we've planned, teenagers often find ways to rebel. Their attitudes can change drastically, especially when they hit puberty. Even if they were well-behaved as children, they can become quite different when they embrace the "teen" lifestyle.We've all been through it ourselves; and in some way or another, we caused our parents headaches and heartaches, just as teenagers do now. Adolescence is a time of immense change in every person's life. It involves rapid physical, emotional, and mental development. Teenagers embark on a journey of self-discovery, forming their identities and seeking independence. Parenting during this period requires patience, understanding, and flexible strategies to support their growth and well-being.Teenagers undergo significant developmental changes that shape their behaviors and perspectives. Physically, puberty brings hormonal shifts and growth spurts, affecting their appearance and bodily functions. Emotionally, they experience heightened sensitivity, mood swings, and a desire for independence. Their brains also undergo important rewiring, improving their ability to think critically while they are still learning to control impulses and make decisions.Think back to when we were teenagers and struggled to understand our feelings, felt misunderstood by our families, and dealt with skin issues at the worst times. Today's teenagers face similar challenges, often feeling overwhelmed by their changing bodies and emotions. Like a virus, teenage issues can change over time.Effective parenting is crucial during this period, though there's no perfect approach. It involves finding a balance between providing guidance and allowing independence.Open CommunicationOpen communication is key. Cliché as it sounds, but it is the key and also one of the hardest thing to do. As parents, especially those who work full time, we may not always have the time or energy to communicate everything to our teenagers. We may lose our patience or be dealing with unresolved childhood issues that cloud our judgment. However, breaking this cycle is essential for becoming better parents. Open communication creates a safe space for teenagers to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment. We may become upset about what our teenagers post on social media, but we should step back, control our reactions, and learn to express our views without being prejudiced or authoritarian. Instead, we must listen actively and accept their emotions, even when we don't necessarily agree with their ideas. Else they will block you and you wouldn’t know what’s going on anymore.Setting BoundariesSetting clear boundaries while promoting independence helps teenagers understand the expectations and consequences of their actions. Collaborating with them to establish rules respects their growing autonomy while ensuring mutual respect and responsibility.For example, my ninth-grade son attends one of the prestigious science schools in the Philippines. When he asked to join the volleyball club, I agreed under the condition that it wouldn't affect his academics. I also made it clear that he couldn't use tiredness from practices as an excuse to skip classes.Another practice I follow is recognizing and celebrating my teen’s unique interests, strengths, and preferences. Despite my preference for him to choose the ABM (Accountancy, Business